What. A. Fucking. Douchebag.

It's just like UppityWoman recently pointed out, Barack Obama has been excelling at alienating more and more people with his choice words o' wisdom. It seems like he has been speaking extemporaneously more and more lately--and clearly, it's not working out for him. He should go back to copying off of his neighbor.

Now he's stepped in it once again and it doesn't smell pretty. Let's break it down:

Obama notes anti-abortion supporters

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — Barack Obama said anti-abortion Democrats are backing him because they feel he respects their opinion on the issue despite disagreement on it.

Sounds like someone's pandering [yet again] to me.

From Wikipedia: "In politics, pandering is to portray one's views to fit in line with a certain crowd of voters the candidate is attempting to impress, when often, these are not the candidate's true beliefs. A candidate may engage in pandering out of desperation if s/he is already losing a race, or if polls taken prior to an election show others as being in the lead."

I think that speaks for itself. But wait, there's more. Also from Wikipedia:

"Procuring or pandering is the facilitation or provision of a prostitute in the arrangement of a sex act with a customer. Pimps are known under the law as procurers. Examples of procuring include:

• bringing a prostitute into a country for the purpose of soliciting sex
• operating a prostitution business,
• transporting a prostitute to the location of their arrangement, etc."

I'll leave it to you to finish the metaphor in terms of who's likely to get fucked here.

The Democratic presidential candidate favors abortion rights, but he noted his support from former Rep. Tim Roemer of Indiana and Sen. Bob Casey of Pennsylvania who are anti-abortion.

Senator Obama has a growing habit of using the but-I-can't-be-a-bigot--because-I-have-Black-friends argument to remind us (maybe he's trying to reassure himself more than anyone) of all the support he has from "so many diverse people." So because he's got Bob Casey on board, then he therefore is the obvious pick for anti-choice democrats (oxymoron, anyone?)? 

He's still trying to pull the wool over queer eyes with his homo-pandering: he just gave The Advocate a reach-around, so now he's the anointed LGBTQ candidate? If he thinks I'm naive enough to be mesmerized by that rainbow logo [tell me that no one would have a problem if he had a special logo for his white voters. or his black voters. Yeah, that's what I thought.] then he must take me for some superficial nelly who would say something catty... like 

But girlfriend, I'd much rather pose for a picture with Gavin Newstrom over Bob Casey any day; sure, everyone is beautiful but good hair and two eyebrows are just so fierce! [add a finger snap for emphasis]

Puhleeeze.

He's only a few weeks away from becoming the epitome of the spoiled, insolent, egomaniacal politician who gives himself a woody by blatantly disregarding the views of others.

But I digress.

"It may be that those who have opposed abortion get a sense that I'm listening to them and respect their position even though where we finally come down may be different," he told reporters at a news conference.

This rises from pandering to a poor attempt at a Jedi mind trick. First he sets up this artificial line and creates this category of "those who have opposed abortion." Hmmm, let's go out on a limb and call these folks, oh, i don't know, anti-abortion. 

"The mistake that pro-choice forces have sometimes made in the past, and this is a generalization so it has not always been the case, has been to not acknowledge the wrenching moral issues involved in it," he said.

I suppose we should give him credit for admitting that he's generalizing, this time. He doesn't always seem willing to admit that, though. But, NOT ONLY is he generalizing, but he also has the audacity (go fucking figure) to simultaneously speak for women AND silence them. See, ladies? Sometimes you just don't get it. Maybe it's when you're periodically feeling down you may not realize what's involved in all of this.

How's the view from up there, on your moral high ground, douchebag?

How many more warnings of Barack Obama trying to name women's feelings and experiences for them is it going to take? I really wish this were a rhetorical question. Seriously, folks, how many more times of him keeping women in their proper place before NARAL or Planned Parenthood calls him out on his shit? Enough is enough already. Cue Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer.

"Most Americans recognize that what we want to do is avoid, or help people avoid, having to make this difficult choice. That nobody is pro-abortion, abortion is never a good thing."

Wait a minute, I think he just tried to pull a fast one on us. First he humbly said that he has enormous appeal to those who are anti-abortion. Then he says that nobody is pro-abortion. He magically has just pulled out of his ass that, therefore, everyone is for Obama.

That, dear friends, is the ultimate in douchebaggery. 

He's got the pro-choicers in a codependent, cycle-of-abuse relationship 

(he didn't really mean it... it'll never happen again... he still loves us... promise!) 

WHILE 

having an affair with anti-choicers. 

Plus, the anti-choicers do feel dirty and guilty about it but they just can't help it cuz he's so charming, especially when he rubs up against them.

And, for the second time in one weekend, all I have left to say is: