Hope. Change.

So much for that Rainbow logo.

I've arrived!

I have received what I think is my first substantive anti- comment ever. I feel so tingly inside. Not as tingly as Chris Matthews, but tingly nonetheless.

It would have been easy to just delete it, but I figured that would be too easy. And I feel like procrastinating, so here we go:

You probably haven't notice but Hillary IS A RACIST.She wants to play with Guns.She seen getting drunk. She did everthing but burn a cross.You have a lot of lies on this sight. The U.C.C church is tollerant of gays.The new minister at Trinity gets death threats.The funniest thing that I heard on election night was Hillary has to appeal to uneducated,rural,gun owning voters.Oh Klansmen huh.Many of these site repeat Sen.Obama middle name ,call him gay,anti-gay, Muslim,Christian,too black,not black enough.Admit you're a racist.If youwant to learn about black people listen to black radio,Tom Joyner and Michael Baisden are excellent,later.

Let's break it down. 

First disclaimer, though: as a teacher I instinctually choose to acknowledge the writer's spelling and grammar mistakes. I fully claim the elitism inherent in that statement. But I know for me, the more fired up I am when typing (ESPECIALLY about things I'm passionate about), the more I mess up. I'm just excited that someone took the time to write something. Moving on...

You probably haven't notice but Hillary IS A RACIST.

Did your talking points memo tell you to put it in all capital letters for a more dramatic effect? Bill O'Reilly, is that YOU?!? Because the louder you scream it, the more true it is. Riiight.

I challenge you to a duel, kind commentator. Senator Clinton's alleged racism versus Senator Obama's demonstrated hypermasculine posturing, sexism, and misogyny. Following Senator Clinton's example I'll even spot you two frames' worth.

She wants to play with Guns.

And that's one of the few parts of the Constitution that Governor Bush hasn't wiped his ass with over the past 7 years. Did you intentionally borrow the capital "G" from god to spell that word (thereby making it more sacred, of course)?

It isn't clear to me whether you think putting "Hillary Clinton" and "guns" in the same sentence is somehow marring her character or her candidacy, like how many of my older relatives often say, "Poor Sharon, she's got...[whispers]...cancer." The President is sworn in with the promise to defend the Constitution. I'm not sure what the problem is here.

She seen getting drunk. 

And it would be just blatant pandering for a candidate for political office to stage an appearance like that just to court voters.

Barack Obama raises a glass of Pabst Blue Ribbon at the Raleigh Times Bar in Raleigh, NC

(at the weekly meeting of White Guilt Anonymous, Raleigh Chapter)

Senator Obama drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. Pabst. Blue. Ribbon. 'Nuff said. By the way, when I saw this picture the first thing I thought of were my friends Sally & Johnny.

She did everthing but burn a cross.

Response #1:

And if I said something in reference to Senator Obama like, "He's done everything but kill the hooker after taking back his money." then what do we think the response would be to that? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Response #2:

EVERYTHING but?!? Wow, she IS the more experienced candidate! 

I don't know how she finds time to campaign when she's so busy doing everything. She sexually harassed an elderly woman while courting her for her vote? She murdered a choir director? She had oral sex in the back of a limo while getting high? She voted for legislation in her state that screwed over her constituents? Hypothetically speaking, If those were true of a candidate I could not imagine ever voting for them.

You have a lot of lies on this sight. 

Point them out and I'll be happy to consider a retraction. It IS my blog, though, so I get to treat it the way Governor Bush treats this country (but with fewer murders and much less nonconsensual exploitation) and do whatever I want. If there are any, they are unintentional. I DO know that there are fewer lies, omissions and half-truths on this blog than in this document.

The U.C.C church is tollerant of gays.

Yeah, because in an ideal world underrepresented and marginalized groups should be tolerated.

Tolerate: 

• digest: put up with something or somebody unpleasant

• have a tolerance for a poison or strong drug or pathogen

• allow

I tolerate one of my cats peeing where he shouldn't be. I don't like it and it pisses me off (no pun intended). I tolerate it because I've owned him for a long time and I love my cats. But I own him. I control when and how much he eats. I control his health maintenance. I allow him to live with me. I allow him to sleep wherever he wants. But, ultimately, I still have control over him.

Yeah, tolerance is what we should be striving for.

The new minister at Trinity gets death threats.

Response #1:

I'm going to (try to) always forfeit any competitions in the Oppression Olympics. You DO get that the more we invest time and energy into battling over "whose oppression is worse", WE ALL LOSE--unless of course you're part of, or benefit from, the white supremacist capitalist heterosexist patriarchy?

Snarky, sarcastic, and somewhat childish Response #2:

That is deeply troubling. He should contact Bishop Gene Robinson for advice and as a kindred spirit (pun intended). Bishop Robinson usually has to wear a bullet-proof vest when making public appearances. He had to wear one at his own ordination. If only we lived in a world where these men could just be [or be just] tolerated! Maybe we should find a lesbian Chicana hearing-impaired minister who can trump all of them and teach us what real oppression is!

The funniest thing that I heard on election night was Hillary has to appeal to uneducated,rural,gun owning voters.

Response #1:

Oh yeah? Well on election night this week I heard that John McCain was peeling a potato but it turned to actually be a kitten. 

Response #2:

I can't tell whether you're implying that that intersection of identities is somehow "less than" or "of lesser value." Last time I checked, my formally-educated-suburban-pro-gun-control vote was worth the same as anyone else's. Although I lived in a mobile home for 8 years, so maybe my vote isn't at 100% value...? And then there's the gay thing. Woe is me, if only one of the major party candidates had an official gay logo, THEN I would know who I'm supposed to blindly vote for.

Oh Klansmen huh.

So if you don't have access to formal education, and live in a rural area, and own a gun, then by definition you're in the Klan.... but I'm the bigot? You. Make. An. Excellent. Point.

There are no formally educated, city-dwelling, gun-owning people worthy of Klan membership. None whatsoever.

And we ALL know how making generalizations or stereotyping is ignorant.

Many of these site repeat Sen.Obama middle name ,call him gay,anti-gay, Muslim,Christian,too black,not black enough.

Let's make a deal. I will vocally and passionately spend time, energy, and voice on critiquing and dismantling the racist, classist, and xenophobic attacks on Senator Obama--and I could theoretically, possibly, potentially imagine the chance that I might actually vote for him if he is the nominee--when you and your candidate commit to honestly, earnestly, and consistently speaking out against--AND cease committing, condoning,  and remaining silent about--the blatant, pervasive, and obscene misogyny in the media and (all) other social institutions. Until Senator Obama does so, I unproudly channel Vice President Cheney here and say, in the angriest way possible: go fuck yourself.

Admit you're a racist.

Response #1:

You first. Well, bigotry at least. Let's clarify how you're defining racism. 

Response #2:

No shit, sherlock. I was neither raised nor socialized in a test tube, or alone on a desert island, so of course I'm racist. As a multi-ethnic person who has often been able to pass as white, I have enjoyed white privilege more than I realize. But do us all a favor and please stop buying into the convenient politicized attack of "critical of Obama = racist". Pretty please. It is disingenuous and it ignores, devalues, and protects institutional and systemic white supremacy.

Response #3:

How about we take a ride to the airport and spend some time in baggage claim together? There's due to be long lines for the flight arriving from White-Guilt-Ville, but my bags will be easy to spot--they're the ones without any "O" stickers on them.

Response #4:

Cue the music...

If youwant to learn about black people listen to black radio,Tom Joyner and Michael Baisden are excellent,later.

Response #1:

How phallocentric and classist of you. Following your candidate's example, you keep women invisible.

Response #2:

Tom Joyner--been there, done that. I'm vaguely familiar with Baisden. You forgot Tavis Smiley (but he's on the Obama Shit List, so I'm assuming you're penalized everytime you mention his name). I see your Joyner-Baisden combo and raise you 1 cup of Michael Eric Dyson and 1 heaping scoop of Eduardo Bonilla-Silva.

Response #3:

I was never a boy scout [and not just because I wouldn't be allowed to be] but I offer the most authentic pledge possible, that I will spend as much time listening to more Joyner and Baisden as you spend reading some bell hooks. E-mail me your mailing address and I will send one of her books. Seriously. I will. No strings attached. Actually, make that two books. I use them in one of the classes that I teach, so I have extra copies.

This month's winner...

of the Madeleine-Albright's-Special-Place-In-Hell-For-Self-Loathing-Misogynist-Women Award is...

Kellyanne Conway.

First, our gal Kellyanne goes for the "back of the bus" metaphor, and fails miserably. Yet more recently, Kellyanne goes for the "Hillary as the chief white woman in this country" commentary. 

In both cases in seems like she is either...

(1) campaigning for Obama ("if you don't want him to win, you must be a racist"),

or

(2) assuming Clinton is the presumptive nominee and is trying to get anti-racist voters to choose McCain ("because Hillary is such a racist").

(1) means Kellyanne is *really* bad at her "job." (2) means the conservatives behind/above Kellyanne are desperately clueless (and racist), and Kellyanne is still really bad at her job.

Is it just me, or do you feel kind of bad for Kellyanne? It's like she's playing Jan Brady to Ann Coulter's Marcia Marcia Marcia.

For those of you already committed to going to hell, enjoy some commentary on Ann Coulter by Kathy Griffin:

I must have missed the memo

Silly me. I didn't realize that progressive folk have to choose between an accomplished politician, feminist, human rights activist...

...and a infantile, self-absorbed, entitled, passive-aggressive, condescending tool*.

As a former two-term President of my 8th grade class**, I can attest that there wasn't this much crap going on at that level. Our teacher would have opened an industrial sized can of whoop ass if we even hinted at pulling that kind of tactic. But then again, most 8th graders have bigger balls, and fewer hang-ups, than this guy.

* His apparent "prank" is too juvenile even to stereotype it as frat boy humor. Shout out to progressive, enlightened, profeminist fraternity brothers everywhere.

** That doesn't mean I repeated 8th grade. We had an election every quarter or trimester or every report card period. 

This month's winner...

...of the Madeleine-Albright's-Special-Place-in-Hell-For Self-Loathing-Misogynist-Women Award is...

Randi Rhodes.

Runner up: Donna Brazile

Madame Secretary's Words of Wisdom

I'm going to have to tattoo this on my forehead. From an interview with former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright:

"I have this saying that I use quite frequently, which is that there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other."

Testify!